Christian Testimonies  - Led by God’s Love in the Tribulation, I Became Stronger in My Heart  （2）

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The next noon, several evil policemen dragged another sister and me into a police car and took us to the detention jail. An evil policeman threatened me, “You’re not local. We’ll first lock you up half a year, and then sentence you to three or five years. Anyway, nobody will know.” “Sentenced?” On hearing that I would be sentenced, I couldn’t help becoming kind of weak. I felt that I would be looked down upon if I was imprisoned. Just when I was distressed and weak, God showed grace to me again. I was put into a cell where the detainees were all believers in Almighty God. Although they were in the devil’s den, they didn’t show any fear and encouraged and sustained each other. Seeing me passive and weak, they talked to me about the testimonies of their personal experiences, so that I had faith in God. They also sang the hymn of life experience to encourage me, “You spend for God and I dedicate myself for God. Rejected by our family and slandered by the world, we follow the true God to walk the rough way, dedicating all our strength to the spreading of God’s kingdom gospel. Ah … seeing off springs, autumns, winters, and summers, welcoming sweets and bitters. For satisfying God’s requirements, we will obey God’s arrangements. I step onto the way of loving God to taste the sufferings of life, going through all dangers and difficulties without any complaints. I suffer in my flesh but love God in my heart, running around testifying God’s deeds, testifying God’s deeds. Ah … having endured persecutions and tribulations, and having experienced the frustrations of life, I’m willing to spend my life for carrying out God’s will. Even if I suffer all my life, I will satisfy God’s heart’s desire.” (from “Follow God to Walk the Rough Way” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs) Pondering the words of the hymn and sensing the vitality of life the sisters sent forth, I was greatly encouraged in my heart, “Yes, following the true God to walk the right way of human life in the atheistic country that regards God as its enemy, we’re bound to undergo many sufferings and tribulations. But all these are meaningful. Even if we are imprisoned, it’s an honorable thing. This is because we’re persecuted for pursuing the truth and walking in God’s ways. And it’s totally different from the worldly people’s imprisonment for doing evil and committing crimes.” At that time, I also thought, “Throughout the past ages, to hold fast to the true way, numerous saints were persecuted and humiliated. Today, I’ve gained from God freely so much supply of his words, understood the truths no one could understand throughout the past generations, and known the mysteries no one knew throughout the past generations. But why can’t I endure a little suffering for testifying God?” At that thought, I got up from the weakness once again and was full of faith and strength. And I was determined to rely on God and face the cruel tortures next day.

Ten days later, the evil policemen sent me alone to the detention house. The prisoners there were swindlers, thieves, and the ones involved in illegal operation. As soon as I entered, they said to me, “Those taken here usually can’t get out. We’re all waiting for the judgment. Some have waited for several months.” Looking at them, I had my heart in my mouth, being afraid that they would mistreat me. And I thought, “As the evil policemen have locked me up with these prisoners, I must have been regarded as a felon to be sentenced. I heard that some arrested brothers and sisters were imprisoned for as long as eight years. I don’t know how many years I’ll be sentenced to. I’m only twenty-nine years old. Is my youth really going to be spent locked up in this dark dungeon? How should I go through the future days?” At that time, my hometown, parents, husband, and child seemed to be so far away from me. I felt as if a knife were being twisted in my heart, with tears in my eyes. I knew that I had fallen into satan’s scheme, so I prayed to God desperately, asking him to guide me to get free from the agony. In prayer, I had a clear guidance within: It is permitted by God that I encounter this; it is like Job’s trial and I should make no complaints. Then God’s words inspired me, “Would you rather obey any of my arrangements (even death or destruction) or run away halfway to escape my chastisement?” (from “Concerning ‘Belief,’ What Do You Know?” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) The judgment and chastisement of God’s words made me disgraced and ashamed. I saw that I didn’t at all have a true heart for God. I only said with my mouth that I would bear a good testimony for God, but when I faced the danger of being imprisoned, I wanted to escape. I didn’t have any reality of suffering for the truth. In retrospect, from the moment I was arrested, God accompanied me all the time and didn’t leave me half a step, lest I might get lost and fall down. God’s love for me is real and true, not empty or false. However, I’m selfish and only consider the gain or loss of my flesh, not willing to spend for God in the slightest. Do I have humanity? Do I have conscience? Am I not a cold-blooded animal that doesn’t have heart or spirit? Thinking of that, I was full of remorse and indebtedness in my heart. So I silently prayed to God and confessed, “O God! I’m wrong. I won’t pay lip service and cheat you anymore. I’m willing to live out the reality to satisfy you. Whatever the result of the judgment is, I’ll resolutely stand testimony for you. Please keep my heart.” Just then, the head of the cell came over and said to me, “I don’t know for what reason you’ve been arrested. But we have a slogan, ‘If you confess, you’ll be imprisoned for life. If you resist, you can go home for the New Year.’ If you don’t wanna say it, just keep it to yourself.” I thanked God for his wonderful arrangement. He gave me wisdom through the mouth of the head of the cell. Moreover, instead of being hard on me, the prisoners in the detention house helped me in every aspect. They gave me clothes. For every meal, they would give me more food. They also shared with me the fruits and snacks they bought. Moreover, they helped me finish the laboring task every day. I knew that all that was out of God’s manipulation and arrangement and that God sympathized with my immaturity. Facing God’s love and keeping, I made a firm resolution, “No matter how long I’m sentenced, I’ll stand testimony for God!”

In the detention house, the evil policemen interrogated me every few days. Knowing that I was immune to hard means, they tried soft ones. The evil policeman who interrogated me assumed a kind look and chatted to me, bought me good food, and said that he would introduce me a good job. I knew it was satan’s scheme. So, every time I was interrogated, I prayed to God to keep me from falling into its trap. Once when I was interrogated, the evil policemen finally unfolded their evil intention, “We’re not at enmity with you. We only want to abolish the Church of Almighty God. We hope you can turn to our side.” Hearing their devilish words, I was grieved and indignant, “God created men and has been supplying and leading men till today. Now God comes to save men he created from the abyss of misery. What’s wrong with it? Why should he be hated and condemned by these devils? We’re God’s created beings. It’s right and proper to follow God and worship God. Why does satan hinder us so wildly, even depriving us of the freedom to follow God? Now it attempts to let me be their puppet of attacking God. The CCP government is really a gang of evil spirits and demons that oppose God obstinately. They’re too evil and too reactionary!” At the moment, I felt unspeakably distressed in my heart, and just wanted to do my best to stand testimony for God to comfort his heart. Seeing that I still said nothing, the evil policemen adopted a psychological tactic on me. Through China Mobile Company they found my husband. Then, they brought my husband and child there and asked them to persuade me. Deluded by them, my husband who didn’t oppose my believing in God in the past kept trying to persuade me, “I beg you to stop believing. Even if you don’t care about me, you should think about our child. Having an imprisoned mother, he’ll be greatly influenced….” I knew that my husband said such words due to ignorance, so I interrupted him, saying, “Don’t you know me? We’ve lived together for so many years. Have you ever seen me do anything lawless? For some things, if you don’t know, don’t speak carelessly.” Seeing that he couldn’t persuade me, my husband left a ruthless word to me, “If you insist, I’ll divorce you!” The word “divorce” hurt me deeply, which made me hate the CCP government more bitterly: It fabricates rumors and slanders and sows discord; as a result, my husband hates God’s work so severely that he speaks out such a heartless word to me. The CCP government is really the arch-criminal of inciting people and offending Heaven, and is the chief culprit of destroying the relationship between my husband and me. At the thought of that, I no longer refuted him but just said calmly, “You just go back with our child.” Seeing that their trick didn’t work, the evil policemen were so angry that they paced up and down in front of the desk and roared at me ferociously, “We’ve gone to so much trouble but still got no word. If you still refuse to say, we’ll convict you as the head of this area and say that you’re a political criminal. If you don’t tell today, you’ll have no opportunity in the future!” No matter how they snarled and roared, I just prayed to God in my heart, asking God to strengthen my faith.

In the interrogation, a hymn of God’s word was always leading me within, “The end-time work requires your great faith and your great love; being slightly careless, you will stumble…. Men have to go through all kinds of refinings and have the faith greater than Job’s. It requires men to endure great sufferings and suffer all kinds of torments, and no matter when, they will not leave God. Only when they all can obey unto death and have great faith in God will this stage of work end.” (from “What God Perfects Is Faith” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs) Because God’s words gave me faith and strength, I was quite strong in the course of the interrogation. But after getting back to the cell, I couldn’t but feel somewhat weak and sad: It seems that my husband is really going to divorce me. I’ll have no family in the future…. I don’t know how long I’ll be sentenced this time. In agony, I recalled God’s words, “You should know how Peter felt at that time: He was extremely grieved and no longer sought any future or any blessings, and did not go after worldly fame and gain, fortune and pleasure, or wealth and honor, but only pursued to live out a most meaningful life, that is, requiting God’s love and offering to God what was most, most valuable to him, and he would be satisfied.” (from “The Course of Peter’s Knowing ‘Jesus’” in The Word Appears in the Flesh) Peter’s deed deeply moved me and stirred up my will to give up everything to satisfy God, “Yes, when Peter was extremely grieved, he could still bear pain to satisfy God, without considering about his future, destiny, or personal interests, and so finally he was crucified upside down and bore a good testimony for God. Today I’m fortunate to follow the incarnated God and have enjoyed God’s boundless supply of life, grace, and blessings, but I’ve offered nothing for God. Now is just the time for me to stand testimony. Shouldn’t I satisfy God once? Will I miss the opportunity and regret all my life?” Thinking of that, I made a resolution before God, “O God! I’m willing to imitate Peter. Whatever my outcome is, divorced or imprisoned, I won’t betray you!” After the prayer, a great strength welled up in my heart. I no longer thought if I would be sentenced or how long it would be and no longer thought if I could go home for reunion. I only thought that as long as I stayed in the devil’s den, I would bear testimony for God, and that even if I had to be imprisoned for life, I wouldn’t yield to satan. When I was truly ready to fight it out, I tasted God’s tender love. One afternoon a few days later, the officer suddenly said to me, “Pack up your things. You can go home.” I couldn’t believe my ears! Before releasing me, the evil policemen took out a document and asked me to sign it. I saw that it said clearly, “Acquitted because of insufficient evidence.” At the sight of that, I was extremely excited. Once again I saw God’s almightiness and faithfulness: Whoever gives up his life can cross it securely. Finally, that spiritual war concluded with satan’s being defeated and God’s being glorified!

After experiencing the CCP police’s arrest and persecution for thirty-six days, I had a true knowledge of the CCP government’s reactionary substance of being ferocious and atrocious and acting against Heaven. Hence, I had a bitter hatred toward it. I knew in that tribulation, it was God who accompanied me all along and inspired and guided me all the time, so that I overcame satan’s afflictions and temptations step by step. It made me truly feel that God’s word is man’s life and man’s strength! I also truly knew that God rules over and controls everything. No matter how tricky satan is, it’s God’s defeated opponent forever. Originally, it attempted to force me to betray and reject God by torturing my flesh frenziedly, but its cruel tortures not only didn’t break me down, but instead tempered my will all the more. Meanwhile, it made me see clearly its devilish face and know God’s love and salvation. I thanked God from my heart for arranging all those for me, so that I gained a most precious wealth of life. I made a resolution inwardly, “No matter how many persecutions and tribulations there may be in the way ahead, I’ll follow God unswervingly and preach the gospel as ever to repay God’s great love!”

 From: Christian Testimonies  - Led by God’s Love in the Tribulation, I Became Stronger in My Heart  （2）

Know more: Many good sheep in the church would prefer to suffer unbridled arrest and persecution by the Chinese Communist Party just to seek and investigate Eastern Lightning.