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Religious Persecution - After Enduring Hardship, My Love for God Is Even Stronger (Part 2)

One day in November of 2004, the winter wind was blowing bitter cold and the air was swirling with thick snowflakes. While spreading the gospel, a few of my brothers and sisters and I were secretly followed by the CCP police. At 8 o’clock that evening, we were in the middle of a meeting, when we suddenly heard a burst of urgent knocking and shouting at the door: “Open up! Open the door! We’re from the Public Security Bureau! If you don’t open this door right now, we’ll kick it in! …” With no time to think, we hurriedly hid away the VCD players, books, and other material. A moment later, five or six policemen burst through the door, charging in like a pack of bandits or robbers. One of them bellowed, “No one move! Put your hands on your heads and squat down by the wall!” Straightaway, a few of the policemen rushed into every room and upturned the entire place. They confiscated four portable VCD players and some books about faith in God. Immediately afterward, they forced us into the police cars and drove us over to the local police station. On the way there, scene after scene of the horrendous torture meted out to me by the evil policemen the previous year flitted through my memory, and I inevitably felt rather nervous, not knowing what else these devilish police might do to torment me this time. Afraid I would not be able to bear their cruelty and that I might end up doing something to betray God, I earnestly prayed in silence to Him. Suddenly I recalled some of God’s words that we had read during a congregation a few days previously: “I am full of hope for My brothers and sisters, and I believe that you are not disheartened or discouraged, and no matter what God does, you are like a pot of fire—you are never tepid and you can persist until the end, until God’s work is fully revealed …” (“The Path … (8)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). “[M]ay we all swear this oath in front of God: ‘To work unitedly! Devotion until the end! Never part, to always be together!’ May My brothers and sisters set this determination in front of God so that our hearts do not stray and our wills are unwavering!” (“The Path … (5)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words shook me to the core. I thought about how God had descended from heaven to earth and undergone so many trials and tribulations in His work to bring salvation to humanity. It is His hope that people will remain unswervingly loyal to Him to the end, no matter how hard their circumstance. As one chosen by God, and one who had enjoyed the provision of His utterances, it behooved me to offer myself entirely up to Him. “No matter how much I might suffer or be tormented,” I thought, “my heart must remain full of faith; my feelings toward God must not change, and my will must not waver. I have to give resounding testimony for God, and absolutely must not surrender or yield to Satan. Moreover, I must not betray God just so I can go on dragging out a meaningless, ignoble existence. God is the One I depend on and, more than that, He is my staunch mainstay. As long as I genuinely cooperate with God, He will certainly lead me to victory over Satan.” Thus, I silently resolved to God, “O God! Even if I must sacrifice my life, I will stand testimony for You. No matter what sort of suffering I endure, I will adhere to the true way. I absolutely refuse to give in to Satan!” Invigorated by God’s words, my faith blossomed a hundredfold, and I found the faith and resolve to sacrifice everything to stand testimony for God.

As soon as we got to the police station, the police rushed over to warm themselves by the stove. Every one of them glared at me, and with brows furrowed and blazing eyes, they questioned me in stern voices: “Start talking! What’s your name? How many people have you spread the gospel to? Who have you been in contact with? Who is the leader of your church?” Seeing that I was determined to remain silent, one of the evil policemen revealed his brutish nature by charging over and fiercely grabbing me by the neck. He then slammed my head into the wall, over and over, until I felt dizzy and my ears were ringing. Next, he raised his fist and pummeled my face and head ferociously while screaming, “You’re the fucking leader, aren’t you? Speak up! If you don’t, I’m gonna hang you from the top of the building and let you freeze to death!” Those evil policemen beat me viciously for a full half hour or more, until I was seeing stars and my nose was streaming with blood. Seeing that they could not get the answers they wanted, they took me over to the PSB. On the way, I thought about the insane beating I had just gotten from the evil policemen, and an involuntary wave of fear passed through me. I thought to myself, “Since they were that heavy-handed with me right after I got to the local police station, then what sort of cruel lengths will the police at the PSB go to in order to torture me? Things are looking bad for me. I might not get out alive this time….” As I mulled this over, my heart was filled with an indescribable sense of despair and sadness. Amidst my anguish and helplessness, I suddenly remembered how God had allowed me to miraculously survive the previous year when the evil police had tortured me to within an inch of my life. I immediately brightened, and thought, “Whether I live or die is in God’s hands, is it not? Without God’s permission, Satan cannot succeed in killing me no matter what it tries. I have seen God’s wonderful deeds in the past, so how could I have forgotten? How could I be so faithless?” At that moment, I saw that my stature was still too immature—when faced with the trial of imminent death, I still was unable to stand at God’s side. I couldn’t help but recall one of God’s utterances: “[T]o live in your mind is to be taken in by Satan and this is a dead end. It’s very simple now: Look upon Me with your heart and your spirit will immediately become strong, you will have a path to practice and I will guide your every step. My word shall be revealed to you at all times and in all places. No matter where or when, or how adverse the environment is, I will show you clearly and My heart shall be revealed to you if you look to Me with your heart; this way you will run down the road ahead and never lose your way” (“Chapter 13” of Utterances of Christ in the Beginning in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words were a beacon leading the way, bringing me more and more clarity of mind. I recognized that God wanted to use this arduous environment to purify me, so that in times of crisis I would abandon my notions and imaginations and my concerns about my flesh, and go forward while only relying on God and depending on God’s words. This was a crucial moment in which God was leading me to experience His work, and I knew that I absolutely must not flinch. I had to place my life and death entirely in God’s hands and rely on God while struggling against Satan to the very end!

When we got to the PSB, the policemen again separated us and interrogated us each individually. As they continuously tried to force me to tell them about matters pertaining to my belief in God, one of the evil police saw that I was insisting on keeping my mouth shut, which caused him to fly into a rage: “You actually think you can get away with playing dumb with us. I have no patience for that!” As he said this, he grabbed me by the collar with both hands and hurled me to the floor like a sandbag. Then the other wicked policemen surged forward and began kicking and stomping all over me, until I was rolling around in pain. After that, they put their feet on my head and pressed down hard, grinding back and forth…. I still hadn’t completely recovered from the savage torture I’d endured the year before, so after again being beaten so viciously, I suddenly felt dizzy and nauseated. In utter agony from head to toe, I curled up into a ball. Next, the evil police went on to tear off my shoes and socks, then forced me to stand barefoot on the floor. It was so freezing cold my teeth chattered involuntarily, and both my feet went completely numb. I felt that I could not hold up any longer, and that I would collapse to the floor at any moment. Faced with these malevolent policemen’s cruel torments, I could not help but feel a burning anger and indignation. I despised these thoroughly evil minions of the devil, and loathed the vile, reactionary Chinese government. It opposes Heaven and is the enemy of God, and in order to force me to betray God and reject Him, it was ravaging me and torturing me, hellbent on putting me to death. Faced with Satan’s viciousness and cruelty, I thought even more about God’s love. I dwelled on the fact that in order to bring salvation to humankind, and for the sake of our future existence, He had put up with extreme humiliation while walking in person among us to do His work. He had given His life for us, and was now patiently and earnestly expressing His words to lead us along the path of pursuing the truth to attain salvation…. Tallying up all the painstaking price God had paid for humanity’s salvation, I sensed that no one loved me more than God; God cherished my life more than anyone else. Satan could only injure me, or devour and kill me. Just then, I felt even more fondness and adoration for God blossom in my heart and could not help but pray silently to Him: “God, thank You for guiding me and saving me like this. No matter how Satan tortures me today, I will definitely work hard to cooperate with You. I swear, I will not give in or yield to the devil!” With the encouragement of God’s love, even though my physical body was weak and powerless from torment, my heart was firm and strong, and I never once gave in to those wicked policemen. They kept torturing me until one o’clock the next morning when, seeing that they really weren’t going to get any answers out of me, they had no choice but to take me over to the detention house.

After arriving at the detention house, the wicked policemen again incited the jailhouse bullies to think up any way they could to punish me. By then I had been tormented so much that my body was covered in cuts and bruises; I was completely limp, and no sooner had I entered my jail cell than I toppled straight onto the freezing cold floor. Seeing me like this, without another word, the jailhouse bullies picked me up and pummeled my head with their fists. They beat me until my head was spinning, and I again fell heavily to the floor. After that, the convicts all came over to tease me, forcing me to press one hand against the floor and the other over my ear, and to then rotate in circles on the floor like a compass. After seeing me fall dizzy to the floor before completing more than a couple rotations, they kicked and beat me again. One of the convicts even delivered a fierce pounding to my abdomen, causing me to lose consciousness right then and there. After that, the convicts were given instructions by the correctional officers to torture and abuse me in a different manner every day, and to make me do all the daily dirty work chores such as washing all the dishes, cleaning the toilets, and so on. I was even forced to take cold showers on snowy days. Furthermore, every time I took a shower, they all forced me to lather up from head to toe with soap and then let the icy water flow slowly down along my entire body. After showering for nearly half an hour, I was so cold I was purple all over and shivering. Faced with this inhuman torture and cruelty, I prayed to God constantly, terrified that if I left God, I would wholly become a captive of Satan. Through prayer, God’s words continuously resounded in me and guided me: “Those who God refers to as overcomers are those who are still able to stand witness, maintain their confidence, and their devotion to God when under the influence of Satan and under siege by Satan, that is, when within the forces of darkness. If you are still able to maintain a heart of purity and your genuine love for God no matter what, you stand witness in front of God, and this is what God refers to as being an overcomer” (“You Should Maintain Your Devotion to God” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words were a light, illuminating and calming my thoughts. I knew that being under siege by Satan was exactly the time when I needed to have loyalty and love for God. Even though this miserable environment had brought suffering and torment to my physical body, hidden behind it was God’s vast love and blessings. It was God who had given me an opportunity to stand testimony for Him in front of Satan and to thoroughly humiliate and defeat Satan. Therefore, while undergoing this suffering, I warned myself again and again that I must be patient to the end, stand testimony for God by relying on His guidance in this dark lair of demons, and strive to be an overcomer. Guided by God’s words, my heart grew steadfast and strong. Despite the weakness and torment racking my physical body, I had faith that I could endure all of it to launch a life-or-death battle against Satan and stand testimony for God with my dying breath.

After being jailed for more than twenty days, I suddenly caught a severe cold. All four of my limbs became sore and limp, I was completely sapped of strength, and my mind grew muddled. Along with the worsening of my condition and the relentless beatings and torture from the other prisoners, I felt unable to hold up any longer. In my heart, I felt especially weak and depressed, and I thought to myself, “When will this daily torment and cruelty end? It looks like I’m going to be sentenced this time, so there’s not much hope that I’ll get out of here alive….” As soon as I thought that, my heart suddenly felt as though it had fallen into a bottomless abyss, and I sank into such deep despair and pain that I couldn’t find my way out. In my most desperate hour, I recalled a hymn of God’s words: “I do not wish for you to be able to speak many touching words, or tell many exciting stories; rather, I ask that you are able to bear fine testimony to Me, and that you can fully and deeply enter into reality. … Think no more of your own prospects, and act as you have resolved before Me to submit to God’s orchestrations in all things. All of those who stand within My household should do as much as they possibly can; you should offer the best of yourself to the last section of My work on earth. Are you truly willing to put such things into practice?” (“Can You Really Submit to God’s Orchestrations?” in Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs). Line by line, God’s words beat upon my heart, causing me to feel deeply ashamed. I thought about how many times I had wept bitter tears, and grew determined to devote myself to God in all things and submit to His orchestrations and arrangements. I also thought about how, when God’s words had guided me while I was enduring suffering and torture, I had pledged on my life before God that I would stand testimony for Him, but that once God truly needed me to pay a real price to satisfy Him, I had instead clung abjectly to life and feared death, caring only about what would befall my physical body. I had completely ignored God’s will, and only thought about escaping my predicament and getting to a place of safety as soon as possible. I saw how truly lowly and worthless I was; I did not have enough faith in God, and I was too full of deception. I was unable to give any true devotion to God, and I did not have a genuinely obedient bone in my body. In that moment I understood that in God’s work in the last days, what He wanted were humanity’s true love and loyalty; these are God’s last requests, and the final tasks He has entrusted to humankind. “As a person who believes in God,” I thought. “I should completely place myself in His hands. Because my life has been given to me by God, He has the final say as to whether I live or die. Given that I have chosen God, I should offer myself unto Him and submit to His orchestrations; regardless of what suffering and humiliation I might be subjected to, I ought to dedicate myself to God with my actions. I should not have my own choices or demands; this is my duty, as well as the reasoning I should possess. The fact that I was still able to draw breath and was alive was all due to God’s protection and care; this was His provision of life—otherwise, would I not have been ravaged to death by the devil long ago? When I’d first undergone such profound suffering and hardship, God had led me to overcome it. What reason did I now have to lose faith in God? How could I be negative and weak, shrinking back and desiring to flee?” As this thought occurred to me, I silently confessed my guilt to God: “Almighty God! I am so selfish and greedy; I have only wanted to enjoy Your love and blessings, yet have been unwilling to sincerely dedicate myself to You. When I think of having to endure the suffering of long-term prison, I just want to break free and avoid it. I really have hurt Your feelings dreadfully. O God! I do not wish to continue to sink deeper; I just want to submit to Your orchestrations and arrangements and accept Your guidance. Even if I die in prison, I still want to stand testimony for You. Though I might be tortured to death, I will remain loyal to You to the end!” After praying, I felt doubly moved. Even though I was still in pain as before, in my heart I felt faith and determination to not give up as long as I had not yet fulfilled my pledge to satisfy God. As soon as I became resolved and confident that I would stand testimony for God unto death, something miraculous happened. Early one morning, I got out of bed, and discovered I had no feeling in either of my feet. I was completely unable to stand, let alone walk. At first the evil police did not believe me; assuming I was faking it, they tried forcing me to stand up. However, no matter how hard I tried, I could not stand. They returned the next day to examine me again. Noticing that both my feet were icy cold and completely devoid of any blood circulation, they became convinced that I really was paralyzed. After that, they informed my family that they could take me home. On the day I went home, sensation was miraculously restored to my feet, and I had no trouble walking at all! I know deep down that this was all thanks to Almighty God showing compassion for my weakness. He Himself had opened up a way out for me, allowing me to walk free from Satan’s lair without a hitch after I’d been illegally detained for a month by the Chinese government.

After having twice been detained and subjected to the Chinese government’s inhumane, cruel tortures, even though I suffered somewhat physically and even came close to dying, both of these extraordinary experiences actually formed a solid foundation upon my path to having faith in God. In the midst of my suffering and tribulations, Almighty God had given me the most practical watering of truth and provision of life, not only allowing me to thoroughly see through the Chinese government, its hatred of the truth, its enmity of God, and its demonic countenance, and become acquainted with its heinous crimes of frantically resisting God and persecuting His believers, but also bestowing upon me an appreciation for the power and authority of God’s words. That I had been able to escape the Chinese Communist Party’s evil clutches with my life, twice, had completely been a result of God’s care and mercy. Moreover, it had been an embodiment and confirmation of God’s extraordinary life force. I now profoundly realized that at any time and any place, Almighty God was always my sole support and salvation! In this life, no matter what dangers or hardship I might encounter, I was resolved to remain committed to following Almighty God, actively spreading His word and bearing testimony to God’s name, and repay God’s love with my genuine devotion!

Source From: The Church of Almighty God Website